They can turn stuffed animals into real ones.

Over the years, I’ve been a guest at the home of a few cats where I paid the rent or mortgage.

They walk around like they own the place and yawn in the face of reprimand. The amount of furniture items that have had to be replaced due to them completely ignoring the scratching post still hurts my wallet, and don’t even get me started on the litter box that everyone else in the house seems to pretend isn’t there.

Needless to say, I wasn’t a fan. I finally put my foot down long ago after stating my case that there would be no more of this pet type in our home and I meant it. I was serious.

I remember one Christmas when our three-year-old daughter asked Santa for three things. The number is completely arbitrary. Some kids ask Santa for an entire list of items, some ask for world peace. Mine asked for three things that year, and he made sure that the first two made it down the chimney. For the life of me, I can’t recall what they were, but I’ll never forget the third.

When all of the presents were opened that Christmas morning, she looked under the tree and all around and then quietly said, “Santa didn’t bring me a teddy bear.”

Yes, my little girl, who had more stuffed animals than any child should legally be allowed, asked Santa for a teddy bear as one of the three gifts.

I don’t even have to explain the look on her face or the sound of my heart crushing at that very moment. She was serious? Another teddy bear…and Santa didn’t bring one?? Who does he even think he is? I made a promise to myself right then that I’d have a chat with Santa about his apparent oversight and to please never let it happen again, no matter what.

Fast forward to the next Santa visit the following year. Now a very wise four-year-old, that same little girl climbed confidently onto Santa’s lap. This time when he asked her what she would like for Christmas, she quietly whispered one, single, simple request…

“A kitten.”

Are you friggin’ kidding me? She knew the rules! She totally knew this rule! The “pet space” was already taken up in the house by a perfectly good and friendly black lab. Who on earth did she think she was playing this card and in such a way that basically would have left any jury gridlocked in a mistrial? Let me just say that if I would have had a rocker at the time, I’d have been WELL off of it, she clearly was off of hers!

I’d overheard it. I still couldn’t believe it. I rarely make a promise, for good reason.

As the garland and holiday-lit makeshift Santa stage spun endlessly while I stood there in my disbelief, I could only remember the single promise that I’d made to myself about the chat with Santa and him not letting the teddy bear incident happen again, no matter what.

We all went to bed quietly that Christmas eve. The excitement of the coming morning of glistening snow outside and the image of the perfectly decorated tree abundantly insulated underneath with gifts that Santa would bring was finally won over by the soft, sleeping breath of the little rule-breaker herself.

Then, it happened. I could hear small, careful footsteps of a tiny human carefully trying to hold back her excitement following the quick descent from her bed as she made her way to the living room to the culmination of the Miracle of Christmas for any small child on that particular morning. Funny, I don’t recall any sort of noise at all overnight or anything about the lawn or clatter, or I most certainly would have sprang from my bed to do something about this particular matter! (Yeah, I know…poet here.)

Cautiously navigating her way under the tree and gifts, the tiny kitten was carefully scooped up and hugged by the little girl that had figured it all out. Santa had kept his promise. That merry, cookie-indulging, scale-tipping SOB.

It wasn’t until just a few years ago that I learned that her name, “CC”, actually meant “Christmas Cat.” I may be slow, but I’m certainly not stupid.

Never forget the teddy bears in a child’s world, or the absolute joy that a pet can bring to a little girl and her family over the years. Yes, even the forbidden cat.

16 years after my final attempt to put my foot down, we say goodbye to CC. I’m still not a fan of cats, but I had certainly grown pretty fond of this one.

A “July For Kings” song has a line that rings true. “Animals tell no lies, everything good must…”