Yawn.

In case you hadn’t heard, 2023 became yet another year for Hollywood writers to go on strike.

Pussies. Try being a songwriter and let’s compare royalty checks.

With some of the movies made in the past decades, it seems like they never went off strike. Or at least, they never wrote anything new.

Here’s my writer’s strike short take movie list shedding a little insight, aka spoiler alerts.

A Star Is Born

Female lead becomes more famous than her initially more well-known alcoholic partner who commits suicide. The writers probably thought they were being different by killing off the co-star in different ways each time.

Genius (eye-roll).

Some people say how much better the last version was than the earlier ones. No shit. They had 3 previous versions to learn from. This was made four different times since 1937.

The Great Gatsby

Rich guy throws good parties, screws around, and gets shot.

Money isn’t everything, kids.

Also made four times (1926). Maybe they think we all forget after a few decades.

Batman

Rich guy’s favorite holiday is Halloween even though he won’t admit it. He sucks in a friend to wear a crappier costume. It’s like going out with someone who you know isn’t as attractive as you are so that you get all the attention.

Cool stuff and gadgets were all named the bat-something, clearly cementing who the sidekick wasn’t.

Everyone seemed to get a chance to walk around in tights and a black cape at one point or another over the course of the remakes. It’s almost as if they draw names out of a hat every few years to see whose turn it is with the amount of Batman films that are available on whatever bat-channel you feel like watching.

Tell those bat-stards to cool it already.

Superman

Guy who flies around can apparently hide behind a single pair of standard eyeglasses or inside a clear glass-walled phone booth. He’s also afraid of green rocks and women.

Likewise, he enjoys tights and a cape, albeit a bit more colorful. He seems to be more into the whole look-at-me thing with his whole bird-plane shpiel vs. the previous dark knight’s philosophy of hiding in the shadows.

A Christmas Carol

Asshole cheapskate gets scared and finally shares his money on Christmas.

Pretty sure he’s back to being a dick once the new year hits. We’ll never know because no one ever comes out with a sequel. They just keep telling the same ghost story over and over again.

At least a dozen of these gems exist. Doesn’t ever get any more scary.

Peter Pan

Kids in tights without supervision. Pretty sure some psychedelics were involved.

This went on for over 20 movie renditions. Odd, no one in Hollywood seemed to mind a bit.

Robin Hood

Tights and men with bows and arrows stealing and being heralded by the locals.

Reminiscent of the government and capable people on disability.

From a silent movie in 1908 to 50 or so versions later.

Dracula

This one sucks.

Over 60 movies.

60.

Sixty.

About a dead guy who drinks blood and wears a cape.

At least he didn’t wear tights.