How I risked everything and ended up much better off

I walked out on my job thirteen years ago with no savings, no plan, and nothing but a middle finger for who had just become my previous employer.

When something isn’t good for you, it won’t become good for you. You can try to shape it or make the best of it and even pretend for a while that it’s not toxic for you. It will eventually either blow up requiring you to figure out how to put your pieces back together or remain as a part of your life leaving you feeling like nothing but a hollow shell each time you have to encounter it or think about encountering it.

As difficult as the decision that you know you need to make is, you’ll be a better person for cutting whatever this thing is out of your life sooner than later.

I know this from experience.

I asked for a salary increase

My job was the Director of Technology for multiple locations, one of which happened to be 2000 miles away from my office.

I spent that last year saving my employer over $100k. I had been working for less than my position should have paid based on what it was and my experience. I also took on far more work than I had been doing for the past three years for them.

When I crafted my email for a salary increase and included the detail of my cost savings along with the amount I was requesting and why, I got no response.

Nothing.

The Chief Financial Officer that I’d emailed had an office that was directly above me on the second floor. I had also cc’d the General Manager whose office was right across from that of the CFO. Each morning, they both walked right by my office as they entered the building.

Still, not a word.

Two weeks later, The CFO had asked if I planned on sticking around, as in, not quitting. I mentioned that I hadn’t received any reply to my email and voila- a meeting was scheduled the next day.

Signs that things weren’t about to go my way

When I walked into the conference room, my seat at the head of the table was clearly reserved as the CFO and the Operations Manager each sat respectively on each side of where the printed copy of my email had been placed.

I can only assume that the Ops Manager was there as a witness. They’d already fired the HR Director and the CFO was now acting as that person as well.

The conversation started. It was agreed that I had indeed done everything that I said that I’d done in the email and that I was asking for a fair salary amount. This was instantly followed up by being told that it wasn’t going to happen.

The CFO told me that I made a good salary, saying that they knew this because it was exactly what their salary was.

Hmm.

There was clearly no changing anyone’s mind and I quietly retreated.

Gut punch, anyone?

A day or so later, I had a discussion with the GM in his office noting my displeasure with the decision. I was assured that we’d discuss it more to see what could be done once I returned from my planned vacation that I was about to leave for.

On a sunny afternoon the next week at the beach cottage I was renting with my family, an email notification went off on my phone. It was from the business phone system that I supported as part of my job and included an attachment with someone’s voicemail that they’d left.

This wasn’t a normal thing. Voicemails usually went directly to whoever the extension was assigned and showed up as a blinking light on their desk phone.

In this case, the person dialed an extension that hadn’t been assigned. Those voicemails came directly to me as they were normally spam. It was part of my job to make sure they were addressed accordingly and if needed get them to the intended recipient.

This one wasn’t spam.

As I clicked on the attachment and it began to play I recognized the voice. The person identified themselves as the GM that I had just spoken to the previous week. The one that I worked with on a daily basis.

They had left a message that was intended for the person overseeing the property 2000 miles away that said the following (I’m leaving their names out because they don’t matter):

Hey so and so, this is so and so (the GM). I understand that you’ve been having some issues. We’ve been having some problems with Sean and are going to be replacing him in the very near future and hopefully, we’ll get your issues sorted out.

I hadn’t been informed of any issues and later found out that there actually were none. The Admin Assistant was my contact and verified the same. The person overseeing things at that location needed help with their email and left a message for the GM rather than touching base with me.

So much for enjoying vacation.

Make a mental note of this- I got a call the following evening from a tech recruiter regarding a job opportunity. I got these calls pretty regularly and the jobs were never even remotely close by.

It was a game for me. They asked what I would need for a rate and I threw out some ridiculous amount while basically hanging up the call and knowing I’d never hear from them again because of it. I did the same with this one.

Liar, liar, pants on…

I was back at work on Monday with my recently acquired knowledge. Some wouldn’t be so cordial under the circumstances, but I just smiled at everyone and said hello in passing.

My scheduled GM meeting wasn’t until later in the week. I already knew how this was going to go down, but the GM was about to not know what hit him.

The meeting started off with the usual post-vacation formalities; the GM asking me how the trip was, me wanting to tell him to go fuck himself. You know, standard stuff.

My understanding was that this was to be a discussion about ticking my salary up a bit. Instead, it began with his concern over how much I had on my plate and that he’d like to bring in a technology consulting firm to help me out with things.

Well sure I had a lot on my plate. They’d laid off my top tech assistant just a couple of months prior.

Laid off. It means fired. These days, people don’t come back after being laid off.

I bit my tongue in regard to the additional choice words that were now at the forefront of my mouth.

I cut right to the chase and asked if I was being replaced.

I was assured that it wasn’t the case and the reason for bringing them in was reiterated. I then asked point blank if I was going to be fired.

The manner in which he gave the exact opposite of a yes with such conviction was impressive, especially for someone in the position he was about to find himself in. Any aspiring liar would have picked up a thing or two had they been a fly on the wall.

3…2…1…ignition…

Without another word, I placed my phone on his desk. It was already cued up. A touch of a button and the show was about to begin.

The look on his face, as he listened to his own words, was absolutely fucking priceless.

Even though I’d had the previous few days to consider how screwed I was about to be in regard to my employment status, I still wasn’t as fucked as he was at that moment. The term balls-deep was in full swing for the entire length of the message followed by the 10–15 seconds afterward as I watched him try to compose himself.

Resorting quickly to a prim and proper shoulders-back stance, his voice trembled a bit as he asked how I obtained this message.

I’m the IT guy, that’s how. It’s my job. You dialed a wrong number and gave it to me, bitch.

Okay fine, I left the bitch part out.

I asked if he cared to rephrase his answer to my last question.

New plan in town. I was to spend the next six weeks assisting the new tech firm in how I did things. At the end of that time, I’d get a good chunk of cash and then I’d be replaced…fired…laid off, or whatever it’s called.

Six weeks? Who came up with that arbitrary period of time? Probably someone who had absolutely no technical knowledge of what I actually did or was responsible for, like the phone system.

I asked what would happen if I didn’t agree to the deal.

Different plan in town. I was told that as my boss, he’d instruct me to do exactly what the previous plan was. There would be no extra cash and once the knowledge transfer was completed he’d see what opportunities were available to me at that time.

I requested a few days to think about it.

He gave me five. Not business days, five days. The weekend wasn’t going to be much fun.

Let the overthinking begin

I had a mortgage and a family at home that included two young children. I had just taken on a new car payment that went along with the other car payment, ironically over vacation. I had no savings at the time. The work that I did in the area where I lived wasn’t easy to come by and neither was my current salary. We couldn’t live on my wife’s salary alone.

It had been a few years since I actively toured as a musician. Even though I’d played a few significant shows over the past couple of years, I had no intention of going back on the road at that time.

Each of these facts accounted for the very little sleep that I managed to get as I pondered my two options.

The thought of training someone to do my job didn’t sound fun. Knowing that it was a means to an end even with a portion of my salary in a one-lump sum combined with a closed door to wrap it all up didn’t help.

The promised dog biscuit for rolling over wasn’t chump change, either. It was a sizeable amount that could have very well become the savings that I was missing. That is, if I were to still have my job along with it, which wasn’t part of option A.

Option B didn’t sound much better. Being forced to train the same people in the same time frame without knowing what would be waiting for me at the other end of this drain pipe didn’t exactly have me ready to hand over my trade secrets.

There was no right answer. By this time, it was clear to me that the only value that I had to my employer was the fact that I had the keys to how they did business. Once I handed those over, I’d have none.

I was about to become a hollow shell.

Soul searching solely

As I struggled with the decision, I made a trip to my office over the weekend.

I knew that no one would be in the building. Regardless of what I chose, I figured that I’d lose my space to the new guys on day one. Not knowing or caring where I’d end up, I took all of my personal belongings home.

Tuesday was to be decision day. I didn’t go in on Monday morning. My plan was to take it as an extra day to ponder my future. I received a call from the GM telling me that if I didn’t show up I’d be fired immediately.

Shell.

As I got ready for work the next morning at home there was no discussion. I recall it being pretty quiet.

Just as I was walking out the door my wife asked me what I was going to do. I remember looking back at her with one foot out the door telling her that I had absolutely no idea.

My thoughts hadn’t changed during the drive which took just under an hour. I almost felt numb. I hadn’t made a decision.

I’d been made to feel useless and unnecessary. I had poured my heart and soul into what I did. This was the same job that I’d taken a call from on one Christmas morning because of an issue that lasted from 8 am to 1 pm. If you have kids, you know what happens around that hour of the morning on that particular holiday.

It was a job that had made me lose track of priorities. It had taken more from me than it ever gave me. It was about to try to take even more.

Option C

I walked up the same stairs to the same office that I did on the day of the infamous voice memo performance. This time, no formalities, only a single question.

The GM asked me what I was going to do.

I took a deep breath and said, “I quit.”

Completely blindsided, he responded, “You quit? When? In 6 weeks, in 2 weeks, now??”

The complete sense of calm that came over me when I uttered those two words instantly released the tightness in my chest and allowed my soul to breathe again. So much so, that the next word out of my mouth came with ease.

“Now.”

Yep, they were fucked and I didn’t care. Truthfully, at least for the moment and the foreseeable future, so was I. Strangely, I didn’t care about that either.

The role of the universe

I spent two weeks on unemployment that would later be contested. I still had no clue what I was going to do next.

Remember the call that I received while on vacation regarding the job opportunity? Guess who called back?

I asked them if we were talking about the same position. She went over the details and the location. It wasn’t exactly close, but it was doable. Turns out, it was the same position, and the same recruiter.

I asked if she remembered the rate that I had given. She confirmed the ridiculous amount that I had told her, which also happened to be more than double my previous salary.

I started my new job in a place with a pretty amazing team three weeks after that final meeting with the GM. Three weeks after I refused to be degraded, humiliated, and completely devalued. Three weeks after financially risking everything for not only myself but for my family as well.

Three weeks after slamming that door shut.

Just three weeks later, everything was fine. Everything was fixed.

I continued to dial in my technology career and had multiple clients while working remotely from my home office for years in my flannels and a t-shirt while earning nearly 4x what my salary was at that previous position that I walked out on.

Today

As I dive more into my writing career, it’s those moments in my life that help keep me pointed in the direction that I want to go.

It’s no longer about how much money I can make or being the director of anything.

It’s about sharing my stories, being a voice for those that are better at things other than writing and trying to do it all in a way that allows people to hear me speak through the words that I choose.

Quitting that job the way that I did was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. The doors that it opened up for me have been enormous.

I never thought of myself as much of a risk taker until I started to look back on that and some other decisions that I’ve made. As it turns out, big risk taker over here.

Big.